Bragging is a Microphone, not a Megaphone

I’ve been thinking lately about difference between the kind of bragging that gives bragging a bad name, and the kind of bragging I think is a force for good. 

Good bragging is a microphone. A microphone helps you be heard better, especially if you’re naturally soft spoken. A microphone reduces noise you don’t want, and makes it easier for people to understand you. Different microphones are built for different purposes, from phone calls, to audio recording, to stage performances. 

Bad bragging is a megaphone. It’s broadcast and indiscriminate. It’s like walking down the street yelling “I went to Stanford! I was in Y Combinator! I know Satya Nadella!”* I mean those are all fine things, but the headline alone doesn’t help people understand why you’re awesome. They lack context or purpose. They’re great on a resume (except for the name dropping) but they’re the title of the story at most, not the story. When you brag, you tell a story, to a specific audience, to show what you are capable of. 

I’ve written before about how titles aren’t brags, they’re headlines. And if all people have is the headline they’ll interpret it through their own experiences. So one person hearing you went to Stanford might think, “Wow, I know how hard it is to get in to Stanford, that’s impressive.” Another might think, “Oh, you must be arrogant and rich and hard to work with.” And a third might think, “I had a friend who got a Master’s at Stanford and it was way easier than my state school.”**

Whereas, if you said something like, “When I was in high school I read an interview with an engineering professor at Stanford and was fascinated by the research she was doing. I knew right then I wanted to go to Stanford. But, I was worried my grades weren’t good enough. So I worked really hard on improving my grades and getting great SAT scores. I added a lot more extracurricular activities and worked my tail off on my college essay. I was thrilled the day I got admitted. Later, my advisor told me that my essay was what really made me stand out.” Now, people know why you wanted to go to Stanford, how you worked to achieve a goal, and that one of your strengths is writing. Another person’s story would be very different. And you, telling that story to a different audience, might emphasize a different point, like the education you received, or the extracurricular activities that made you a well-rounded person. 

So the next time you’re uncomfortable bragging, remember it’s a microphone. It’s one of many tools we can use. When used well, bragging a force for good.  When used poorly it’s just loud. 

Your Dot Release: Think of a key skill or accomplishment and a person you want to be sure knows about it. Craft a brag specific to that audience, focusing on the context they have and what they value. Now, recraft that same brag for a different audience. For example, maybe the first round you think of your boss and what they care about. Your boss has a lot more context about you and the work you do, and you probably know some things that are important for them. Now, imagine you need to convey that same skill in an interview with a new company. Those people don’t have the context and you need to infer some of what they value from what you know about them or the company. Now you’ve got two great stories just waiting for an opportunity to be told. 

*In my case, none of those are true.

**That last one is true, by the way. Your mileage may vary.

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