Archive

Hard Conversations with Peers

A real-world factor in hard conversations is the relative status of you and the person you’re talking to. Every social group has formal and informal hierarchies, and taking that into account increases the odds of a hard conversation going well. I’ve teed up three articles about this, each

When to Start Hard Conversations with Your Point of View

We all have biases and opinions and it’s often helpful to just be up front about yours. You don’t have to do it like a jerk, and you can leave room for discovery and changing your mind. Doing that actually builds trust and can make it easier for

Why Active Listening is Essential in Hard Conversations

Last week’s article was about asking questions to protect yourself in hard conversations. Rebecca Campbell shared this on my LinkedIn post about the article.  “I've been thinking about this one for the last couple of days—probably because I've advised people to do exactly what

Ask Questions to Protect Yourself in Hard Conversations

Today I’m going to talk about why it’s often a good idea to start a hard conversation with questions. And while there are a lot of good, values-based reasons to start with curiosity, today I’m going to explain the benefits in very pragmatic terms.  Let’s face

Two ways to make hard conversations that are about you easier

When I talked about how you should start hard conversations with altruism, I said this works even when you’re the topic of conversation.  Sometimes you need to have a hard conversation whose goal is to benefit you. Here are some examples from my own career: * Telling my boss that

Tiny Wins Build Trust

Hey there! I don’t have a new "hard conversations" article ready this week but I do have something pretty awesome for you. I just read Jade Rubick’s post on how he implemented a way to deliver small improvements while keeping bigger projects moving. He calls it

Assume Positive Intent

One obstacle to approaching hard conversations with altruism is other people. Other people make us grumpy. They’re not good at their jobs. They have it out for us. They have secret agendas. They’re stuck in their ways. They will never admit if their team is wrong. All those

Start Hard Conversations with Altruism

I believe that to be great at hard conversations you have to start with altruism. To do this, you have you to take a good look in the mirror, be honest with yourself about what’s in your head and heart, then discard what doesn't align with your

Get Great at Hard Conversations

People tell me that one of my superpowers is my ability to productively have hard conversations. In other words I can get and keep people engaged in a conversation about a difficult topic, navigate the conversation to satisfactory (or at least clear) outcomes, and keep or improve relationships in the

Hack Continuous Learning with This One Easy Trick

I’m going to share something that helped me cope with the FOMO I had trying to keep up with the overwhelming amount of great books, newsletters (cough!), articles, and podcasts about leadership and product management. A couple years ago I felt like I was just always behind. I couldn’

Product Management in the Wild: Threadloop Pricing

I just got back from spending several days hanging out with my Dad (a reader of this newsletter, hi Dad!) while my Mom was traveling. We talked, played a fun game (Fox Experiment), talked, went to Mysterious Galaxy, talked. We also went out to eat and I cooked shrimp scampi

Leadership Incidents

Last week I talked about Manager Bugs, which are the commonplace mistakes managers or leaders make. This week I’m talking about Leadership Incidents—the bigger failures that hurt more and are harder to recover from. In software engineering we talk about bugs, which are when something isn’t working

Manager Bugs

Last week a Dot Release reader and former coworker hit reply to the "Brag Lunch Leader Edition" article and said, “Do owning your failures as a leader next.” What a great idea! I knew I wanted to write about this, but he was quite right that talking about

Brag Lunch Leader Edition

So perhaps you’ve been thinking about this brag lunch thing, but you’re still uncomfortable. “That’s great for individual contributors,” you’re saying to yourself. “Heck, I’ll even coach my team so they can brag better. But I’m a leader, I shouldn’t brag, right? And

Brag So You're Known for What Matters to You

One of the worst conversations I ever had with a boss started with him saying, “everyone likes you, but…” He then proceeded to tell me that I “wasn’t technical enough.” Reader, I have a degree, and a state license, in electrical engineering and he had one in economics. At

Good News! Smart People Misunderstand Each Other, Too

Dealing with disagreement can be hard and messy, so here’s some good news. Sometimes a disagreement is just a misunderstanding. Misunderstandings can come with a lot of the same energy and emotion as a disagreement, but once you’ve found the end of the knot they often untangle much

When You're the Smart Person Disagreeing—Restate the Problem

There’s a special case of “Smart People Disagree” you may have been wondering about. It’s when you’re one of the people disagreeing. You don’t just have skin in the game, you’ve got elbows, knees and half your chin. You care a lot and you want

Describe it to Defuse it When Smart People Disagree

So you’ve encountered a disagreement. Wonderful! Great ideas usually don’t emerge fully formed and without controversy. They’re honed through debate and testing. But a lot of time the reaction to an honest disagreement is to * Ignore it. We’re uncomfortable so let’s pretend we didn’t

Smart People Disagree. That's Not a Bug, it's a Feature.

Smart People Disagree. If you’ve ever worked with me, you’ve probably heard me say that. Getting people aligned starts with being OK with disagreement. Which is tough because lots of people are uncomfortable with disagreement or its neighbor up the escalation path, conflict. So we’re going to

Alignment 101: What is Alignment and Why do I Care?

Today we’re going to start talking about how to get people and teams aligned. When I told people I was starting a newsletter, several folks said to me “you’ve got to write about that thing you do where you somehow get people on the same page without pissing

Keep an Achievements and Mistakes List

A shorter article today folks, after the deep dive into brag lunches in the previous article. Do you ever feel like you don’t have anything to brag about? Here’s what to do.  Keep a running list of your achievements and mistakes. Keeping this list makes performance reviews, resumes,

How and Why to Host a Brag Lunch

A brag lunch is a supportive place for women (and others!) to practice talking about how awesome they are. In this article, you’re going to learn how to host and facilitate your own brag lunch.

Coming soon

I'm Nadya Duke Boone and I'm starting a newsletter about things I'm passionate about. That list includes general career advice, management and leadership, and product leadership in particular. Each article will have one topic and be geared towards practical actionable advice - because you