When You're the Smart Person Disagreeing—Restate the Problem

There’s a special case of “Smart People Disagree” you may have been wondering about. It’s when you’re one of the people disagreeing. You don’t just have skin in the game, you’ve got elbows, knees and half your chin. You care a lot and you want to be heard. You are fairly sure you’re right. Your disagreement may have made you visible, and so now you feel vulnerable. If things don’t fall your way, how will it affect your place on the team, your performance review, or even your promotion? How do you describe it to defuse it when you’re one of the protagonists in this drama? 

It’s OK! Here’s one thing you can do. Step back from the solution you’re advocating and describe the problem you’re solving. 

That’s it? Why does restating the problem help?

First, it let’s you check that your solution solves your problem. Maybe your idea has diverged from your original problem statement. Sometimes that means that your new problem statement is actually more useful than the first one, and that the process of solving it has clarified a few things. But maybe you didn’t take everyone along on that journey and they’re still solving the first problem. Or, when you review the original problem statement you realize that the divergence isn’t helpful and you need to go rethink your proposal. That’s good, too!

Second, maybe your coworkers are evaluating your solution against a different problem. It’s easy to disagree if you’re not going after the same problem! Make sure people know what problem you’re going after so that they’re evaluating your solution in the right context. 

Third, restating the problem can lead to a really useful conversation around defining the problem, whether the problem needs to be solved, and, if so, when. Maybe you have a great solution, but the team thinks it’s lower priority than some other things and that’s why they’re pushing back. 

Finally, it helps YOU create some emotional distance. It’s easy to get caught up in the “what” of a new feature, new hire, or new technology. I know in a rush of enthusiasm, I can lose sight of why I was doing this in the first place! Plus, as I noted in the intro, our hopes and fears can get entangled in this process. So give yourself a beat to let them untangle. The key is to be honest. Don’t just reverse engineer a problem statement from your solution. Remember that people will remember a good outcome, and if you end up changing your solution because you’ve done this work, that’s not just OK, that’s great. 

Your Dot Release: Choose a current situation where you’re advocating for something, or disagreeing with someone else’s position. Write down your problem statement, or revise it if you’ve already done that. (And kudos if you have!) Then, and this is the hard part, go find someone who disagrees with you, or is at least undecided. Review the problem statement with them and ask for their feedback. By doing this, you can find blindspots in your thinking, logical inconsistencies, and edges of the problem you weren’t aware of. As a bonus, you’ll strengthen that relationship by asking for help and collaborating. Building a muscle of being crystal clear about the problem you’re trying to solve can head off a lot of future disagreements!

Next week I’m going to wrap up this mini-series on Smart People Disagree. I’ve got a load of other alignment topics teed up for the future, plus expect some more tips on brag lunches. Hit reply to this email to email me your ideas or suggestions. 

This article is part 3 of 4 in a mini series on Alignment 101: Smart People Disagree. The others are:

• Smart People Disagree—That’s Not a Bug It’s a Feature
• Describe it to Defuse it When Smart People Disagree
• Subscribe to get part 4 delivered to your mailbox next week!

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